How To Effectively Manage Your Finances During Marriage – Part 1

You usually hear people say that money isn’t everything; that money can’t buy happiness; and that the best things in life are free. But anyone can concede that we all need money to survive. We don’t live on good will and happiness alone, after all.

In marriage, the responsibility of making and managing money is shared between husband and wife. It’s, as I mentioned before, a team sport; and there’s no two ways about it, if you want a fruitful and long-lasting marriage.

Involving someone else in your finances might not always be easy, considering how you and your partner might come from different backgrounds and have different habits when it comes to money. However, in just about every aspect of marriage, you eventually have to learn how to adjust and work around your differences. It’s fine to have arguments here and there, but failing to make decisions that both of you can agree with can be a recipe for disaster.

As such, it cannot be stressed enough how vital it is to maintain open communication as a couple. Doing so makes it a whole lot easier to manage your finances together. It’s the most helpful practice in ensuring that you reach the goals you’ve set for yourself and your family. And that applies to every stage of marriage, from newlyweds who have yet to have kids to grandparents who are already in their golden years.

 

What does it mean to have open communication?  

In essence, open communication is really just talking to your spouse freely, openly, and regularly. So much so that you feel like your day is not complete without having a conversation with him or her; that you’re comfortable to share absolutely anything; and that you truly respect each other’s opinions.

Maintaining open communication can have far-reaching positive effects on relationships and marriages. It’s the foundation for which all the other characteristics of your bond with your partner stand on. When you’re open and not holding anything back, it’s a whole lot easier to work out misunderstandings. At the same time, you’re fostering an atmosphere of trust and transparency, where you and your partner can talk about important matters without fear of judgement.

Open-communication is similarly vital in managing your finances as a couple. Money can be a touchy subject for some people. But if you’re so used to openly talking to your spouse about all kinds of things, it shouldn’t be so difficult to talk about money as well. And that covers everything from deciding on your financial priorities; to setting up a budget; to sharing each other’s investments and assets; and even paying-off your debts, if there are any.

Don’t get the wrong idea here; open communication doesn’t mean you always have to agree with each other; it’s just that you respect each other’s opinions enough to reach a compromise.

Not everyone, however, are good communicators; not everyone can articulate or express feelings and thoughts properly; and not everyone knows how to initiate conversations. That’s just normal for some people. Be that as it may, you can’t let that stop you from being open to your spouse.

All it really takes is some consistent effort to talk everyday. It doesn’t have to be  intellectual conversations, nor do you have to talk about important matters from the very start. Just talk about your feelings; talk about each other; and talk about the relationship. Eventually, talking becomes something natural; you immediately know what questions to ask; or what matters to bring up; and when you get into an argument, it becomes hard to keep that distance between each other.

But don’t forget that this is a process; it’s not something you can do in a day, a week, or even a month. In spite of this, you have to start at some point because if you’re so used to not talking, it becomes difficult to talk at all.

At the heart of it, it’s really all about breaking that friction between the two of you; and bringing you closer to each other than you were before. It’s strengthening your relationship through language that both of you can fully understand.

They say money makes the world go ‘round, but if you think about it, so does love. So it’s smart to have both in your life.

 

Tune in to the next entries of this new series, where I’ll discuss how the practice of open communication helps couples manage their finances more effectively throughout the different stages of married life.

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