It comes to a point wherein it is already easy to reflect on the past and share the lessons learned with others. I was born and raised a Christian and I have always believed that the Lord allows such painful experiences in my life not only to strengthen my faith but also to share this strength to others who may need it.
Regardless of how one loses a spouse, it is heart wrenching. And the time to recover from the loss varies depending on the severity of the situation and the personality of the parties involved. However, contrary to other people’s belief, life does not end there. The journey for the one left behind continues, if not for himself/herself, then for the people around him/her. In my case, it was for my *four very young children. The phrase “move on” is such a cliché but in reality, that was the only option available for me.
Now what? Now I set my emotions aside and think logically. How can a single mother, in her late 30’s with no work experience outside her own family business, make sure that her family will be okay. Death and disability were the two issues farthest from my mind at that time. But when the financial planning business was introduced to me a year after I was separated, death and disability were like the bold letters in a lighted billboard flashing its hard reality on me every waking hour.
DEATH
Who will care for my children?
The only people who I can think of to take care of my children in the event of my passing were my parents. Although they have the financial capacity to fulfill the responsibility of meeting all my children’s needs, the law dictates that the natural love of a parent (surviving parent in this case) outweighs that of the grandparents. However, when the surviving parent is shown to be unfit or unsuitable, the grandparents may exercise substitute parental authority and be granted guardianship by the court. With the help of my legal counsel, a case for legal separation was filed and a notarial will was formally executed stating the infidelity of the accused party (the father of my children) and his abandonment of our children. These are enough grounds for the court to deny him custody.
Can I ensure that my children will stay together?
The notarial will also contains my last wish that my children will grow up together in one family. My decision to choose my parents, although at that time they were already in their mid 60’s, gave me the assurance that my wish will be followed.
How will my children afford proper education?
A trust was created using life insurance proceeds to fund it to supply the tuition fee and other school expenses of my children until they graduate from the university. The basis for the life insurance coverage was from an actuarial computation drawn to come up with the projected tuition fee of each child in each school year and each level of their education. My income at the time was substantial for me to purchase a mix of term insurance and whole life insurance products to get full coverage.
How will my children afford a comfortable lifestyle?
In the same way, the trust funded by the life insurance proceeds will provide my children the continuous income they will require while growing up. The income replacement coverage was computed factoring in an average inflation rate within a given time frame.
Will my children inherit 100% of my estate?
With the absence of an annulment, the surviving spouse is still recognized as one of the legal heir of the absolute community property of the married couple. Until the annulment case is approved, all assets and liabilities are shared by the separated husband and wife. This was of major concern for me and the very reason why I agreed to the offer of an annulment. To further strengthen the case against my ex-husband’s unworthiness, I also included a disinheritance clause in my notarial will to protect any future assets I will acquire as part of my estate.
**DISABILITY
What will happen to our family income if I, the only breadwinner, am disabled?
How can we afford treatments, doctor’s professional fees, medicines, etc.?
Can my children stay with me if I am permanently disabled?
Whether you are a single parent or not, death and disability are issues you need to seriously discuss with family members. Plans have to be set up immediately with the probability of these happening anytime without warning. Start talking to a professional, someone who has already set up hers. Call our office today.
*Jewel was 11, Crystal 9, Joshua 8 and Jem was turning 4 in 3 months when their father decided 10 years ago that he needed time away from the family.
**Watch out for the Part 2 of this blog that will answer the following concerns.
linkiNG you to opportunities,
Lessons from a Single Momma is a series of blogs that allows the writer to share her blessings and the lessons she has picked up along the way with the public. Death and Disability. Now what? was inspired by the article “5 Things Single Parents Need To Consider About Life Insurance” written by journalist and fellow blogger Abby Hayes for Credit.com.